Clothes, looking good and feeling good

I've never been a real girly girl. As a kid, I dressed like my brothers and even until today I don't wear skirts, dresses, jewelry or accessories very often. I've never taken the same level of joy from my clothing that some women do. I do, however, like to look good, with "good" being defined by me. Especially now that I'm in my 40's, I pay more attention to how I dress, even just to run errands. When I was in my 20's, I could wake up, put my hair in a high ponytail throw on some sweats and look cute and young. Somewhere around my mid-30's, this ceased to be the case and I just felt like I looked sloppy and unkempt. This is no great tragedy though as I have enjoyed my new look.

There are a great many shows on that cover fashion, but the one I really learn from is TLC's "What Not to Wear." The two hosts, Stacy and Clinton, make over a very average looking woman (and sometimes a man) from scratch and the results are astounding. The women they choose are someone you would probably either not notice or notice that she really looks under-dressed, even for the grocery store. They do a high-drama scene where they force the woman to throw away her entire wardrobe so they can start from scratch. At the end, predictably, the woman looks great and is someone who is attractive enough to be noteworthy.

I could do without the drama in this show, but aside from that there is a lot to like. First, they start with average looking women. What a great message that you don't have to look like a supermodel to look good and that average looking women deserve to look and feel good. Second, they often uncover reasons why the woman didn't want to put effort into her looks. Often the reason is some variation on the theme that she doesn't feel like she deserves it, and again, what a great message that everyone deserves to look good. Third, the show does a good job of teaching the woman the principles of the clothes she is buying. They demonstrate specific characteristics to look for in clothes that will work for her and send her out to shop. In other words, they teach her to fish rather than give her a fish. I've learned a lot about what kind of clothes to buy based on watching the show and following general rules for everyone as well as specific rules for women built like me. Fourth, they do a good job of working within the woman's lifestyle. If she doesn't even wear makeup or spend any time on her hair, she's not going to do a 45-minute beauty regimen. They tailor the regimen to her goals too - a young woman in the fashion industry got a much more elaborate make-up treatment than some other women who don't even want to wear makeup.

I've learned a lot from this show. For one thing, I almost always wear fitted clothes now. No matter the weight, shape or size, it seems almost everyone looks better in fitted clothes. Clothes that fit properly are very comfortable. I've also learned that I feel better and people treat me better if I look like I care about myself. A really big lesson is that looking good doesn't have to take a lot of time. I buy almost everything I wear at Old Navy, so shopping is easy and not very expensive. Because I am meticulous about fit, everything in my closet looks good on me. I deliberately buy my clothes so that almost everything can be worn together. I have also started wearing makeup on regular days and not just for special occasions. I didn't use to wear makeup for everyday use because, not being a girly girl, I didn't want to look made up. What I have learned is that with very little time (well under 5 minutes) and the right products (I like Glow Minerals), I can look fresh and polished and like I naturally have perfect skin and wear no makeup. That's a look I like!

About your dishwasher

Green living -

Your best bet seems to be using the dishwasher as opposed to hand washing dishes. There's a lot of information on this, and from what I read some of it seems to favor hand washing but overall the information favors using a dishwasher. Newer models were especially favored for environmental friendliness. To be even gentler on the environment, buy the quality dishwasher with good efficiency, use a eco-friendly soap and only run full loads. In one article I found, the dishwasher uses only 3.6 gallons of water to handle a family of four's once-a-day load. I couldn't imagine hand washing all those dishes using less than that.

Use it or lose it -

This is something I learned from personal experience that I've never seen anyone talk about. It's not even in the manual for my dishwasher. Years ago, I ruined an almost new dishwasher by not using it. I was living alone, didn't really cook much, and was out almost every night so I just did a quick hand wash of my dishes as many people would in that circumstance. When I left that condo, I was preparing to rent it out and was surprised to find my dishwasher leaked. When the repair person came, she explained that there are wet gaskets and parts inside that dry out and get ruined beyond repair. I ended up having to replace the dishwasher just because I hadn't used it. I actually put it in the lease that the tenant had to run the dishwasher at least once a week.

Maintenance -

We've had to buy all new appliances in the course of our remodel. The place was just gross and the appliances were gag-worthy. The seller took some things with our permission and stole the rest. No, we didn't go after him - I didn't really want his filthy-beyond-saving stove or the refrigerator with the nauseating smell. One of the side effects of this is that I have manuals for everything, and given that they are new and ours, I want to maintain them.

I never knew appliances needed to be maintained. The maintenance on the dishwasher is quite simple - check a few parts to make sure they move and drain correctly and check the air gap, if you have one. If you have hard water, you may need to remove the buildup. My manual suggests using white vinegar at a specific point in the wash cycle. Consult the manual for your dishwasher for specific instructions.

My dishwasher began to make a groaning noise and I called Sears Appliance repair. The guy came out and diagnosed it as a faulty part in the drain system. He said it could fix itself and that there was no harm in waiting. Since the repair cost was almost as much as a new dishwasher, I opted to wait. He did advise me to use a product called Dishwasher Magic to remove the hard water build up inside the machine. I hadn't even noticed it until he pointed it out. One of the reviews on Amazon described how Dishwasher Magic fixed a problem that sounded just like mine. I ordered some, and was amazed at how the inside of the dishwasher looked after using (almost new) and that the groaning sound was improved. Perhaps the problem was hard water buildup?

When finished isn't

One thing I've learned in our ongoing renovation is that sometimes a project can lead you to many others. I often cross one thing off my list while adding several more. For example, I recently worked on my office closet and had to really reign in the definition of this project in order to complete it. When I started this project, my goal was to paint the closet, install the closet system and fill it with files, office supplies and household goods that will be stored here. Sounds like a clear definition right? Well, I started to notice that this project dragged on and on, and I figured out that not honoring my definition that was the problem.

An example of what dragged this project out is my office supplies. They were packed in a box in the garage, and so once I had the closet set up I started unpacking the box. There was more than office supplies in it, so I put away the office supplies and started on the rest of the box (the "handle it once" principle). Well, since our space is still so chaotic and unfinished, that led to numerous other projects which took me away from the office closet. For example, there were books in that box (I spread the books out when I packed to distribute the weight), so I had to sort them into various categories and put them away. In some cases, the space into which the was to go wasn't ready yet due to ongoing construction so it became a whole additional project to find space for them. In this case, handling the box once wasn't the best thing to do. A better choice would have been to take what I needed for this project from the box and put the box back to be dealt with in later unpacking efforts.

Another example is my photos. As you can see in the picture in the original post, I left shelf space for my pre-digital era photos. They are currently stored (gulp, I know it's bad) in plastic tubs and I want to get them into archival storage before I tackle albums. I got sidetracked into finding archival storage that would fit into my space and going to several stores and websites. Again, it became an entire additional project to deal with the photos. The sad thing is that even though I allowed my closet project to be sidetracked enough to buy the archival storage, I still haven't moved the photos into the new boxes (the tubs are at least in the house and not the garage though). What was the point of delaying my closet completion for this?

I've spent much of my career as a project manager, and I know better than this in my work life. If this was a professional situation, I would have defined the scope of the project very specifically before beginning and then gently reminded my client or boss that these additional projects are not part of our main project and that they can be tackled later.

This is what I've started to do with my renovation projects. When a large sub-project comes up, I assess it to see if it really belongs in the scope of what I'm doing and if not, it gets skipped and added to the "someday" project list. We have a rough plan for the next phase of the remodel, and as with many things remodeling related, they have to be done in order to satisfy critical path requirements. If I get sidetracked off our master plan, I delay not only what I'm working on but many future projects as well. Due to the interconnectedness of the remodeling projects, the delay tends to multiply as time passes.

So, if you are tackling a big project it may help to define it clearly before you start. Assess whether any sub-projects are best done now or later. It's okay to change your mind, just make sure you are aware of what you are doing. You can still call your project "done" even if you added several additional projects to your list in the course of finishing it.

A cute idea for a baby gift

A good friend of mine just had a baby boy on Saturday, and she called me from her hospital room yesterday morning. After we talked about the important stuff, she asked me to pick up a Time magazine for them to save for the baby. His father had also managed to grab a Car and Driver magazine (dad's a car person). I ended up grabbing 8 different magazines all covering different things - news, fashion, celebrity gossip, music, technology, science, etc. I had great fun doing it, and even got help from several men at the news stand.

I thought this was such a great idea. I'll bet baby boy will someday enjoy this glimpse into current events from the day of his birth. I was glad to have something to do for the new parents. If you decide to do this for your baby, I suggest arranging it with a friend who will be one of the first people you call after the birth. That way, the person can get right on it and will hopefully have had time to make sure they know where to find everything they want to buy.

Former Michael Vick dog now a therapy dog

This was just too sweet and uplifting not to share - one of the pit bulls confiscated when authorities broke up Michael Vick's dogfighting operation now works as a therapy dog for cancer patients. I absolutely love the concept of therapy dogs, and would love to one day have one so that I can do this work. What is great about this story is that whatever mistreatment the dog received, he was able to overcome it and now his "job" is to give and receive love. All the abuse he suffered didn't harm his spirit. I am thankful to the various people and organizations that gave many of these dogs a second chance. I wonder if this dog performed poorly as a fighter?

One thing I appreciate is the way the trainer points out that when dogs (whatever the breed) misbehave, the owner should be held responsible.

Here is the story from NPR:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91769901&ft=1&f=1003

"Discard 7/3/08"

I had a funny experience yesterday when I went to put away a pair of pants. I generally do an ongoing purge of my wardrobe by loosely following the 1-in-1-out rule. I've been a little lax lately though, and purging my closet is on my to-do list. As I was putting away the pants, the pants stack was a little too tightly wedged into the space for my taste and I decided that something had to go. I spied a pair near the bottom that I've been thinking about getting rid of for a while and grabbed them and the pair below (figuring I probably hadn't worn the pair below in a while either).

Much to my surprise, they each had a nicely printed label that read "discard 7/3/08!" I don't even remember doing this, although I regularly label things like this when I'm not sure whether to get rid of them. If I haven't used it by the date, I know I can get rid of it. I decide up front how long I'm willing to keep something and when that date arrives I don't need to rethink it.

I was pleasantly surprised by my tag, and the pants are on their way to Goodwill.

sparkpeople.com - fun support for health goals

Robyn turned me on to sparkpeople.com , a great website for tracking your health and fitness goals. Just a quick tour around the site and I knew I had to join. There is a detailed food database which lets you keep a food diary that calculates the calories and nutritional content of you food as well as an exercise log. A fun motivator is your Spark points, a running total of points for doing things that support your goals (e.g. tracking food, reading articles, logging in, etc). At various point levels, you get "trophies" which show on your home page. There is a community too, which includes forums, teams, etc. You can choose how public your information is, and the site is free.

I've kept food diaries off and on and I find them helpful to reboot my healthy eating plan. When I'm on a good roll, I don't need to keep one but there is something about seeing my choices in black and white that keeps me on track. When I think of eating something, I think about how I will feel putting that in my food log. I was very motivated while browsing the site yesterday, and even cranked out a couple of set of push-ups just so I could log them in. Think I'll go do that again, and add some crunches as well.

Repairing cell phones

Did you know cell phones can be repaired? I don't know why this was news to me. I had never heard of getting a phone fixed. I started using a Blackberry in the fall of 2005, and I am on my 4th one - they seem to break easily for me. For the first three I got older, used models quite cheaply but the last one was new. When I went into the AT&T store, I was shocked at the replacement cost (several times what I paid originally). Luckily, they sent me to a store that does repair. One hour after dropping my phone off, I picked it up as good as new and for less than half the price of a new phone. I also picked up a rubber sleeve so I won't drop it so often!

Next time you break your phone, try getting it repaired. It was much cheaper than replacing the phone, and greener as well. A lot of independent phone stores do repair, so check your local area out. If you happen to be in Los Angeles, the place I used was Dialnet at 7549 Melrose Avenue.

"It's only a plate" - the attitude I strive for

I started reading "Pieces of My Mind" by Andrew A. Rooney, AKA Andy Rooney. It's a series of short essays on a variety of topics and the first essay is entitled "It's only a plate." This essay embodies the attitude I want to have about my stuff, even my "treasured" stuff. He starts the essay by describing the sentimental feelings he has toward his old refrigerator as he awaits a new one to be delivered, and goes on to describe how he is "incurably" sentimental about all sorts of things.

He then describes his mother, who was able to get over any feelings of sentiment for things - "Losing people was all the sadness she needed." He tells a story of a dinner guest who helped wash the dishes and accidentally broke a plate. His mother minimized the event so as not to make the dinner guest feel bad. Andrew put the pieces on a shelf so he could mend it. After the dinner guest left, he asked his mother about the plate and she explained that it had been a wedding gift she had had for 45 years. After just one brief pause, she tossed the pieces in a trashcan saying "But it's only a plate."

Wow. When I first read of the broken plate and her lack of upset over it, I assumed that it was some sort of generic plate that had no importance. I was very surprised to find out the history of the plate, and in awe of her for being so at ease in getting rid of it. I've made huge strides in this area, and keep very little sentimental stuff, but I was blown away by this. I think I felt more of a loss for the plate reading the story than his mom did and it was her plate.

So this is now my ideal. Whenever I get inappropriately attached to an object, I will use this as a reminder that things are not important, people and experiences are.

Washing my shoes

One of my favorite uses for my washing machine is my shoes. I've washed athletic shoes, hiking shoes, canvas and rubber sandals, and Crocs, all with great results. I wear sneakers and hiking shoes a lot, and I find that regular washing keeps them looking like new. Even though they are casual shoes, I still like them to look nice and not like I was working in a mud pit. The washer gets them much cleaner than I was ever able to by hand cleaning them.

I wash shoes on the delicate or hand wash cycle in warm water with my regular laundry soap. My dryer has a rack that goes inside the drum and doesn't rotate which is perfect for drying shoes on the lowest temperature setting. If it is a hot, dry day I'll put the shoes outside to dry, but if it is not hot and dry I find it takes several days to dry them.

The usual disclaimer - I've had great success with this, but I don't know if all shoes will fare well in all washers and dryers, so use caution if you decide to wash your shoes. We are both vegans which means we don't wear leather, so I cannot say how leather shoes will come through the wash.

Advice for new grads and the rest of us

Kathy M. Kristoff is one of my favorite columnists. I thought this was an interesting article for new grads and it has great advice for the rest of us as well. She covers some of the same points I made in my post on luck. The theme is don't "live large" right away - start saving early and pay off debts before buying luxuries.

I agree wholeheartedly with her advice, and did this myself as a new grad. The really odd thing though was that I was not admired for my choices but laughed at! There is a perception that young people want instant gratification and that's why they spend a lot right away after graduating. This may be true, but I found that there is a lot of pressure to spend a lot when you make a decent salary. I didn't get a lot of respect for my choices - people laughed at my car and called me cheap for brown bagging my lunch. This in no way affected my decisions, but I did find it tiresome. I think it is smart to live below your means. I would admire a new grad who made this choice.

There seems to be a cultural shift happening around frugality and decreased consumption, for which I am glad. Until very recently, the times in my life when I've made such choices were lonely times. There just wasn't a lot of respect for choices other than work hard, spend hard. I hope new grads who make sound financial choices reap huge benefits from them.

Decluttering for someone else

My husband isn't a pack rat, but he bought a lot of stuff into the relationship. He's open to my decluttering and organizing efforts which I am thankful for. The reason he had some accumulation is that he works really long hours, and if you've ever worked a 12-hour day or 7 of them in a row, you know that the last thing on your mind is going through old paperwork.

One of the reasons he trusts me to do this job is that I am very conscious of not throwing away anything he might want to keep. If I am in doubt, I ask him and more often than not he says "That? Why would I keep that?" But, it builds trust and shows that I am being cautious with his possessions.

I've learned that everybody has different things they want to keep and that it's important to honor his standards. Slowly, and am decreasing what we have and my efforts are paying off. One thing that has helped this process is that I don't put him on the defensive with his stuff and vice-versa.

This post was inspired by this article on Financial Infidelity by Kathy M. Kristoff.

Heated towel bar

For the most part, we have remodeled our house quite reasonably. We've done a lot of the work ourselves, used IKEA kitchen cabinets and shopped for bargains when possible. One thing I really wanted was a heated towel bar in the bathroom. Have you ever had the pleasure of using one of these, perhaps at a hotel? It is so incredible to dry off with a warm, heated towel. The bar heats the towels more mildly than than a dryer though, so they are not dryer-hot.

The towel bar uses very little energy - less than a lightbulb actually. We live in an area with a lot of humidity, so before we had the towel bar our shower towels never dried out between showers even if I rotated two. It's so much more pleasant to dry off with a crisp, dry, slightly warm towel than a damp, chilly one. Yuck. I also am able to do less laundry because each towel lasts longer since it dries fully in between showers.

Since we have a lot of humidity here, mildew in the bathroom is a constant problem. Since getting the towel bar, we haven't had a speck of mildew. There was mildew in the bathroom when we bought the house though, so I think the constant, low intensity heat helps.

A final reason I love my towel bar is that it works great for air drying things like delicate wash. They dry quickly and I like having them hidden under the bath towels while they are drying.

I love my heated towel bar, and it is a luxury I get to enjoy every day. It's relatively inexpensive (and may even save money given the reduction in laundry) once the bar has been purchased. If you are interested in a heated towel bar, I suggest shopping around. They are pricey, but after a few weeks of looking I did find a reasonably priced one.

Luck

I often find that people confuse luck with hard work and intentional living. Most of the good things in my life have come from one or both of these, and yet people will describe me as lucky instead of hard working or driven.

I was able to buy a condo by myself in my late twenties. This was no accident or mere luck. When I graduated college, I drove my old Honda until it was no longer cost-effective to repair it. Many of my peers, also new graduates, purchased new cars right away. When it came time to buy a new car, I bought a stripped down econobox (and drove that for 13 years). I also brown bagged my lunch for the most part in those early years. The result was that I was able to buy my condo, which had been my dream for a long time. I was amazed that people would say how lucky I was. It wasn't luck at all - it was having a goal and being willing to sacrifice to meet that goal.

When I was self-employed as a small business consultant, people would often comment how lucky I was. I was a nice lifestyle for a business person - casual dress, flexible hours set by me, tangible results, pleased clients. Luck had nothing to do with my business though! I worked hard and got a master's degree and was willing to do work that a lot of people were not. I made sure my clients were happy and always worked hard.

I think people sell themselves short when they chalk up success to luck. It says, in effect, "I could never have that because that is due to luck." How sad that so many people think that their life is not in their control. I think many people could have a lot more of what they want if they didn't chalk life's outcomes up to luck.

Two thoughts on getting rid of clothes

With clothes, I loosely practice "1 in, 1 out." I'm not very strict with it though because I don't tend to accumulate clothes. I did a little shopping this week, and made a few discoveries as I thought about what to get rid of.

I bought a new t-shirt (fitted, part of my uniform) and immediately knew which fitted t-shirt I wanted to get rid of - the one I was wearing. Faded, not a great color on me, not as nice of a fit as the new one. Instead of donating the old one, I cycled it down into "work clothes" and got rid of a baggy, ill-fitting work shirt that makes me look frumpy and fat. Even though they are my work clothes, it's still cool to look decent in them. I am glad to have a nice t-shirt to work in.

1 in 1 out is a great way to help me not accumulate clothing, but I like to be creative with what I get rid of. I don't necessarily get rid of the same type of piece I purchased.

Second, I bought work out pants made for yoga. I bought the yoga pants as opposed to regular sweats because they fit super well and look great on. This was a splurge, but I was able to get rid of two nasty, old pairs of sweats that made me look gross. I feel so much better when I exercise in decent looking clothes. It's hard for me to feel fast, lithe and athletic when I look like someone who has given up on looking good. Having nice clothes just makes me want to exercise. Also, sometimes a new purchase is so great and functional it can replace the functionality provided by two or more pieces. I only wore each of those nasty sweats as last resort - i.e. a few times a month. I'll happily wear my new pants much more often, so I can get rid of the nasty ones. I was very happy to put those in the donation bag.

Make your own cookbook

Jennifer at declutterit described how she created her own cookbook using magazine recipes and page protectors in a 3-ring binder. My own homemade cookbook is a variation on that idea that I came up with. Whenever I come across a recipe in print, I put it in a recipe folder. I've cut down a lot on using print recipes thanks to vast amount of recipes on the web, but there are still some sources like the grocery store and magazines.

When I am doing my menu planning, I look first in the recipe file before using my cookbooks. I'm planning on keeping the cookbooks, but the recipe file is solely a temporary holding place. Looking through the stash every week makes me realize what's been sitting there too long and needs to be either tried or tossed in the trash. When I make a recipe, if we like it and want to add it to my personal cookbook, it gets mounted in the cookbook. If not, it gets tossed. That way, my personal cookbook only contains recipes I've tried and liked. I also record notes on the preparation, and sometimes fun personal notes such as "Made this for Thanksgiving 2005, our last in the apartment."

I also devoted another page in my personal cookbook to a list meals we like that don't require recipes. Some examples include taco bar, taquitos and Spud Puppies (Spud Puppies are like Tater Tots. Both the taquitos and Spud Puppies are frozen, I just reheat), and top-your-own-burger bar.

While I love my personal cookbook, I have recently decided to scan the pages and save them on my computer. The book got put away between 2 tall cookbooks and I couldn't find it for a few weeks. I thought it was lost and I was very upset about losing all that work.

My morning station

I can't claim this idea is original. I first heard of it while watching the TV show Mission Organization, where I first got interested in learning how to organize and declutter. Many of the professional organizers have talked about it on their websites.

In the morning, I make the dogs' food after taking my vitamins, then after a walk I make smoothies for the humans in the house. I sometimes have coffee at some point in the morning as well. To make this process easier, I created a morning station in my kitchen. Over a clear contertop, I store the vitamins in an easy-to-grab bin. Once a week, I put the vitamins for us and the dogs into weekly containers.

In addition There is also a bin for the dogs' food and our smoothies. It contains protein powder, flax seeds, dog medicine and various supplements we use for the dogs. It may seem random to have our smoothie makings and the dogs' food items in the same bin, but there is a lot of overlap. We all use protein powder and flax seeds, and I make our smoothies shortly after making the dogs' food so the bin covers it all. I store my coffeepot near the morning station as well.

I have found this to be a huge help in making our mornings run well. Everything is where we need it and is grouped together. Everything I need can be pulled out, used and put back in the same area. I've seen this idea used for a lot of different things - a coffee or tea station, a cereal station, kids' lunch making station, etc. It was really eye opening for me to learn this concept - i.e. to store all of these things together so I don't have to grab and put them away all over the kitchen.