Being "on stage" for co-workers

As a follow up to yesterday's post about being "on stage" at work, I wanted to talk about being on stage for co-workers as well. It would seem, at least to me, obvious that some behaviors are not appropriate in a professional setting but way too often it isn't obvious to everyone. I won't waste space discussing things that are marginally or arguably inappropriate - there is plenty of material in the "way out of line" category. Even if you don't see customers, there are still standards for work.

First, a co-worker's primary role in your life is not friend. They may be a friend, but first and foremost the person is a co-worker.

Second, as humans, we have emotional and social needs. Work is not a place to get them met.

Third, keep an even keel. Nobody is a robot, but your performance and outward appearance shouldn't radically change based on your personal life. When life is tough, get the support you need elsewhere and then be on stage for work.

Fourth, personal calls. Keep them to a minimum. I tell my friends and family not to call at work unless it's an emergency or urgent (an urgent call might be a short "I'm around the corner, want to meet after you finish work?") .

Fifth, avoid Too Much Information (TMI)! There are things that nobody at work needs to know. Details of your sex life, medical issues, drunken escapades or fights with your significant other fall clearly here. If you have to call in sick, just say you are sick. As someone who has taken sick calls for my subordinates, I can tell you that the details of your symptoms, such as how long you threw up for, are not needed or appreciated.

Sixth, avoid the drama. Some drama is inevitable due to office politics, but skip the personal drama.

Seventh, treat the time you are being paid to work as your employer's asset. Use it wisely. Everyone has a few minutes a day when they need to handle their own business, but don't treat your employer's time as if you have the same liberties with it as you do with your own time.

Eighth, don't show up visibly hungover. Don't do things on weeknights that will cause a hangover, and if you find yourself not fit to be at work just call in sick. Nobody talks about someone who is out sick for very long (provided you were not out getting drunk on a work night with co-workers) but I can assure you that people talked about the guy in my office barfing up last night's drinks in the men's room at 7:45 a.m. for a looooooong time. Yeah it really is a true story.

Ninth, be cautious socializing with co-workers. I'm not suggesting that you never see them, but just remember that once you share something with a co-worker you can't put the genie back in the bottle. Be sure where you stand so you don't get lulled into a false sense of camaraderie after having a fun outing. Don't be cajoled into sharing more than you are comfortable with, even if the conversation turns to "Who here has been arrested?" and everyone is revealing something. You have a right to your privacy and there is no obligation to answer even a direct question.

Tenth, don't forget to be "on stage." The ideal employee shows up on time, looks appropriate (whatever that means in the specific workplace), has no personal issues (or appears to) and uses language and manners that are appropriate for their workplace.

The bottom line for me is that work time is for work. It is for doing something of value and earning money and perhaps a few other things, but it is not for living out your personal life. Various people are credited with saying something like "80% of success is just showing up." Showing up "on stage" will be helpful in achieving whatever you are trying to achieve.